Dead writers don’t read blogs.
It’s a joy to write about Balzac, who doesn’t care what I say about Louis Lambert, a novel that hasn’t been translated into English since the 19th century.
And he has the “Freedom” app, whereby he is barred from the internet for up to eight hours a day (in the Underworld).
And he is also dead.
But I do have to tell you something funny about the living.
See this picture?
Last Year’s Booker Judges Plant Trees.
Last year’s Man Booker Prize judges were planting trees in Leicestershire with the Woodland Trust.
It was confusing, because I couldn’t figure out WHY last year’s judges were planting trees. Why not THIS year’s judges?
The 2012 judges already read over 100 books twice or something.
So I did some research and discovered they are the fifth panel of judges to plant 12 trees, which somehow represent the 12 books longlisted for the 2012 prize.
It looked like a terrible day for it.
My husband told me the third guy has the best form. That’s Bharat Tandon, a lecturer at the University of East Anglia and the author of two books on Jane Austen.
Dan Stevens is Downton Abbey
But I was wondering: Where was Dan Stevens? Stevens, the actor who played Matthew on Downton Abbey, was one of the Man Booker judges last year.
At first I was hopeful that he was the one with the best form, but Tandon can obviously beat everyone at gardening.
I read that Stevens wasn’t there because he was “working in America.”
So here is my idea for Stevens’ Booker PR in the U.S.
A storm wounded and destroyed our maple, and we have to plant a new tree. I’m sure Stevens would love to plant a tree in (our) nation’s capital.
Oh, well, this isn’t the nation’s capital. BUT HE WOULDN’T ACTUALLY HAVE TO KNOW THAT.
We could eat bacon cupcakes and deep-fried Twinkies-on-a-Stick. Honest to God, you can get them here.
Then we could ride our bicycles to Madrid (pronounced Mad-rid, with the accent on “mad”).
And even if Dan Stevens were here, no one would believe he was Dan Stevens.
We don’t recognize famous people. We’re reserved Midwesterners.
Obama often comes to our city (we’re a caucus state). And Bruce Springsteen came here with Obama.
But we only recognize Obama and Springsteen.
mirabile dictu 
Even better Balzac can’t comment. I’ve never understood how people can invite an author to a list-serv where what’s planned is a group read and discussion of the author’s book. Of course you can’t talk freely, even if you don’t mean at all to evaluate the book adversely. And those authors I’ve seen join are there as a kind of watchdog over their reputation. Since writing and publishing reviews too I now know why people once did not study authors while they are still alive.
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I once dissed an author in a blog post, not realizing that he was alive and well and reading what I had to say. He commented that clearly I had not understood that certain remarks he had made in the book were meant to be humorous. Actually I did realize his put down of an old woman was meant to be humorous. The problem was I did not think it was funny — but I was too polite to tell him so.
Speaking of Madrid, pronounced MAD rid, we have a town in Connecticut named Berlin. The story is that it used to be pronounced Ber LIN, like the German city. During World War I the residents of the Connecticut Berlin were embarrassed by the name of their city, so they changed the pronunciation to BER lin, which it is to this day.
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Ellen, I’ve never been on a listserv with an author. I understand the give-and-take is common now with Twitter, etc. (which I don’t have), but would be very surprised if, say, Victoria Glendinning turned up on a Trollope list (though why ?) or at my blog to say, “I love Phineas Finn” (the kind of comment one barely has time to leave sometimes).
SilverSeason, a few writers have turned up, and fortunately I had said very nice things about most of them! But we’re kind of at the back of beyond here, so we don’t see them too much of them.
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Ah, the thought of Dan Stevens planting a tree in your yard. How jolly!
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