Love & Twitter

Doormat for Love_Girls Love Stories 148_ dropped books

Unnatural librarians!

My cousin stopped by to tell me about a sale. Fifty percent off.  Drone drone drone.

“I’ve got to work.”  That was a lie, but I typed a few words.

She proffered a thermos of fresh Starbucks.  “Want some?”

“Of course.”

Chat chat chat.  Her boyfriend’s going to a training thing this weekend.

On the weekend?  I doubt it.  And now I have to be nice.

She met him at the reference desk.  She meets a lot of men that way.

He needed to know everything about film noir.

They retired to the storage room to check out the Patricia Highsmith.

She’s in love.  Except…  He’s not…  Well, her sister-in-law can tell you about that.

She’s not really spacey.  Not Phi Beta Kappa, but honors. Bored at her  job, and if you don’t want her blabbing about what you check out, you might as well buy the book.  I prefer to own the omnibus edition of the Works of Mary Stewart to hearing at a party that I’m reading Airs Above the Ground.

She hopes to marry this guy.

She is also addicted to Twitter.

“He has sent ten tweets today.  Isn’t that cute?”

He’s such an e-slut.  He gives out his personal email address, and no doubt his Twitter, to the more attractive minimum-wage employees at the mall.  (Ask my cousin’s sister-in-law.)

She was in tears last time I saw them at the grocery store, and I hardly  blame her.  I gave him a cross look, but he paid no attention.

Fortunately she has $500 of Lancome in her bag, so she can hide her feelings.

She offers to give me a makeover.

“I’m beyond help.”

“Just a little lip gloss.”

“I’m allergic.”

Then she showed me his tweets.

She couldn’t believe I don’t have Twitter.  So she signed me up.

I am now a follower of Lydia Davis (I like her translation of Madame Bovary), Jo-Ann Mapson, Sherman Alexie, Natalie Merchant, Ron Charles, Jay McInerney, and Salman Rushdie.  Lydia was saying something profane, which made no sense out of context.  Jo-Ann recommended a book.  Natalie is against fracking (I agree).  Ron sent a link to one of his video reviews.   Jay was talking about food.

I tried to follow Pevear and Volokhonsky, but they don’t have Twitter.

Twitter thinks I should follow Jennifer Lopez and Ellen Degeneres.  Why?

I didn’t send a tweet, because I need 500 words to say nothing.

And I should unsubscribe from Twitter, because it is just one more silly thing.

3 thoughts on “Love & Twitter

  1. I’m on twitter. I announce blogs there. I follow about 10 – 15people now — maybe more but not much. The best is Amanda Vickery whose reading tastes are marvelous. She “retweets” the reading tastes of others and I get good essays on line to read I’d never know about. Let me be candid: both my daughters are on twitter and I can follow their days’ activities a bit; one has a funny sense of humor and tells concise jokes. I follow DemocracyNow.Org and the Guardian for headlines. Someone three real friends found me there and so (to be polite) I follow them. They hardly ever tweet. And maybe a couple of Jane Austen and historical fiction (decent good historical fiction) blogs.

    It’s also a nuisance the way LinkedIn is. I get irritating updates from some machine urging me to follow X or Y — that makes someone money. I get people wanting to follow me who like my blogs; but also cranks, or what looks like porn, or salespeople (the worst). I try to block them but it takes a few seconds each. So maybe now i have a bunch of followers.

    Facebook I do like and enjoy and it’s a very different experience: really for friends and family circles,and except for an initial mistake (deliberately engineered by facebook) when I requested the friendship of 500 people, my “friends” have grown slowly and I really know or am acquainted with just about all of them: 215 at this point. And I’ve joined a couple of facebook pages where people gather around a figure (a Trollope one, a Jane Austen one), but these are often fandoms (dangerous for me to be on). But another time.

    Take each for what it offers. Like blogging each is structured in a particular way and offers a particular experience. Big Brother is watching and corporations gathering information but they are doing that anyway.

    Like

  2. Alex, LOL. I don’t even know what my Twitter address IS.

    Ellen, yes, I can see it would be good for updates, and of course you want to keep up with your family. I could endlessly follow, read retweets, etc., but it’s just one more thing. When you start typing in dead authors and end up reading unintelligible tweets at the Penguin website, you know you don’t need it!

    Like

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