“Are you sure?” we keep saying to her.
It isn’t the best idea we’ve ever heard.
She had a difficult year in 2013. If you’ve ever been involved with someone with a substance abuse problem, you’ll know how hellish it is, and her boyfriend had a coke problem.
So perhaps it’s unsurprising that she fell in love with the next handsome, charming man she met, a man with a degree in art and a successful law practice, whom we liked SO MUCH. We didn’t know he was gay until a gay friend told us of his reputation. Why he dated my cousin I’ll never know: gay marriage is legal here, but it may take a few hundred years to detox some of the formerly-closeted, who, if they lived like The Boys in the Band, have a few issues.
And if I don’t sound as pro-gay as I should, it’s because a lesbian-pedophile junior high teacher in her 30s took me to a movie when I was a teenage hippie girl. She had lent me a book by Anne Sexton, and then called me up and sobbed on the phone that she was gay, and then insisted on taking me to a movie. She hissed at an affectionate heterosexual couple in the audience, apparently because she couldn’t make out with me in public, since I was a minor and all, and they could make out. The woman walked up the aisle and angrily said she was married and could kiss her husband if she wanted to–I couldn’t have agreed more.
But back to my cousin.
There were many tears.
And now she is marrying ANOTHER gay man.
They are getting married by a justice of the peace, then throwing a big party. Their goal? To buy a very big house in the suburbs.
“How will you feel when he brings home a man?”
“We’re just roommates who want financial security,” she said cheerily
A couple of my other cousins and I have tried to talk to her. We’re all fond of her, because we “raised” her, as we say, since we’re almost old enough to be her aunts.
“You seem so depressed,” one of my cousins told her bluntly.
“I want a home and a husband. Anyway, all men are gay.”
A few are heterosexual.
Although marriage isn’t about romance after a while, marrying without love–what is that about?
If we’re all going to end up like characters in John Updike novels, shouldn’t we at least have the romance?