At five-thirty a.m., I was having a miraculous good-hair day at the airport. I was absolutely convinced that everyone was admiring my drip-dry hair. And then suddenly I had my personal security line. There was only one of me, and there were at least eight security people to look at my stuff. While my husband made faces at me on the other side of the glass (he thought it very funny that I couldn’t be rushed), I put the ziplocked bottle of mouthwash they are so fond of x-raying in one bin, shoes and coat in another bin, and almost had to part with my sweatshirt.
“What about that jacket?”
I gave them that inimitable schoolmarm look.
I got to keep the sweatshirt.
Let’s realize something. I’m a matron. I’ve waited all my life to be a matron.
I didn’t hustle either. It took me a while to regather my stuff. “Do you need help, ma’am?”
“No, I’m just slow.”
I needed coffee very badly, and I have no memory at all of how those coffee-less hours passed. Later, at another airport, I passed a Starbucks. But I was wandering around looking for my gate, and my so-called carry-on luggage was so heavy that my back ached, and how could I carry a coffee while dragging a barely-regulation-size suitcase and balancing an unbalanced laptop bag?
The only option was coffee at the McDonald’s by the gate. There was no sleeve! It was too hot! I couldn’t even sip it. And if you, like me, thought an Egg McMuffin was an English muffin with an egg on it, you are wrong. It also has a piece of ham and two yellow rectangles of cheese. I threw it away. It was utterly disgusting.
Now I’m sure you all know the answers to this airport dilemma. BRING YOUR OWN GOOD FOOD. There was no reason I couldn’t have made myself a little sandwich, if I’d thought of it. Well, they would have x-rayed it, and that would have been no good. But I certainly shouldn’t have been eating McDonald’s.
They did feed me later on the plane, unexciting but all vegetarian, and I did have coffee, but it’s not real coffee, if you know what I mean.
TOMORROW: one good cup of coffee must be found.