I’m not a holiday kind of gal. Christmas is for families, not couples.
But I’ve been sick this week, with the cold from hell. Really. I was so wrecked from cold pills and Nyquil that I binge-watched Season 4 of Parenthood, a high-end prime time soap opera (2010-2015). I love the characters, three generations of the Braverman family, who are beautiful, talented, dysfunctional, and occasionally very annoying. Sarah (Lauren Graham from The Gilmore Girls) wrecked her relationship with her fiance, Mark (Jason Ritter), the most adorable English teacher on the planet, to accompany her moody photographer boss, Hank (Ray Romano), to L.A. for a “work” weekend. (Sarah, you will never find anyone like Mark again!) Julia, a corporate lawyer on the partner track, made a huge mistake at work and surprisingly resigned to stay home with her adopted son, Victor. And my favorite character on the show, Christina (Monica Parter), had breast cancer. Poor Christina! She’s the rock of her family. The season was very dramatic.
Christmas is a big deal for the Bravermans. Nobody acts out on Christmas. It’s TV. And I loved Julia’s Christmas decorations.
And so I decided to decorate. My options were limited, since I was sick. I ordered two artificial trees, a 6-ft.-tall tree for the living room and a small tabletop tree for the study. I mean I’m not going to get real trees, right? I’m not going to plant them afterwards.
My plan? I would assemble the trees while my husband was at work and surprise him.
Want to know how this went for me?
First, the 6-ft. tree came without an instruction booklet. I was told there were no spare instruction booklets and offered a discount. I assembled it by myself–sort of. You have to “fluff out” the branches. Ouch. They’re scratchy. And the bolts didn’t fit in the tree stand. It was wobbly. It looked okay once decorated.
And, yup, after I left the room, the cats knocked it over. Now it’s leaning against the bookcase in the study. Rickety, but Christmasy.
The tabletop tree is fine! A nice steady stand, thank God. Since it can stand up alone, it’s in the living room. But the cats are hilarious. Unfortunately they will not leave the decorations alone.
Forget the ball-shaped ornaments. The two youngest cats jumped up and down athletically, determined to rip them off the tree. The balls are now cat toys.
The youngest cat spent an hour pawing tiny gold bells and miniature fake packages off the tree.
So they’re now officially cat toys. Every morning I get up, put the decorations back, and vacuum. But I don’t mind. The cats are so happy! And the winter is so boring for them.